New Kid on the Block

Not to be confused with the band The New Kids on the block...

I'm going to be honest, I clicked on an app by accident and ended up here. Very rarely do I have something of note to share, and if i do...well isn't that what facebook statues are for?

Although, in the *near* future, I will have a plethora of hilarious stories to tell about my most recent stint on jury duty. Seriously, there is comedy gold in them thar hills.

So, in the meantime, allow me to wax neurotic about myself, and get you caught up to speed on the bundle of angst and manic joy that is my life.

I am a Doctor Who fan. I just watched the new episode (Deep Breath). I discovered Who over two years ago thanks to a recent Netflix subscription and some unannounced free time thanks to losing my job. And by "losing my job" i clearly mean my ass was fired. To be fair, I totally saw it coming. I did, but there's a whole lot of other stuff that plays into that, and frankly not a time I would like to relive thank you very much. Anyway, Doctor Who came into my life right when I needed it, much like Sherlock, roller derby, my best friend, and those sweet sweet sparkly ballet flats that are sooooo in right now.

I am single and ready for a pringle. You wanna know how I got these scars? *flexes arm, points to under bicep area*, well the last "date" I was on (and I use that term very loosely), the gentleman (also used very loosely) tried to show off his mad driving skills and ended up wrecking the car. It was at that moment, when I came to, it occured to me that he was never going to call me back. I walked away that day with a bleeding arm and a mild concussion, secure in that knowledge. Alas, I was right, sort of. I received a couple of texts making sure I was ok, and that I wasn't going to sue, then off he popped on his merry way. His facebook feed was then littered of him going on these amazing dates with a prettier, skinnier, longer haired chick. *sigh*. Such is life. Although I should have seen it coming. When I asked him what his favorite song lyric and he told me the lyrics, a red flag went up.

Here's a protip kids: if their song lyric is "Fuck my soulmate, I just need somebody" then chances are they are not in it for the long haul. (Song is Forgotten by Tickle Torture)

Since then my love life has resembled the arctic tundra...frigid, barren, treeless, and empty. Save for the battery operated warmth of a few lonely outposts, its been day after day of the same ol' same ol'.  The unanticipated drawback to this is that I have become unaccustomed to casual touches from people. Despite being damn near starving for human warmth and contact I instinctively shy away and tense up when someone attempts to invade my perimeter. Although, recently I was the recipient of the most awesome hug from a dude to date. He's a guy that works in my building. Super hot, super nice, and just super friendly. He came up to me last week or so and wrapped me tight in this amazing hug for what seemed like minutes, but wasn't. He didn't scrimp on the cuddle/squeezing. My only regret is that I tensed up and gave him the old "one armed awkward hug" that I am known for. I managed to squeeze back, but I didn't fully commit and I regret that to this day.

Here's a protip kids: when you hug someone, do it with both arms and give it all you've got. Go Big or Go Home. Never regret not hugging someone for all their worth.

Among other interesting tidbits that we will eventually get to, because deep down, and not so deep down, I am bit of an egotistical bastard, I used to belly dance, have been called a witch a time or two (mostly by my coven sisters), briefly flirted with roller derby, had a couple kids (they're teens now and are alright, so I guess I'll keep them), got married, got divorced, didn't date, dated, became single and that pretty much brings us up to the present. Oh, and I have a job. It's a decent job. It's not a forever one, but it pays the bills and allows me to spend money on Doctor Who merch, cons, sparkly ballet flats (which, if I haven't mentioned, are soooo in right now).

Hopefully, a few of you will stick around. This might be a fun ride, or...it could just fade into the ether, destined to become another victim of "lack of interest" and be sucked back into the void that is the deep web.

Happy Saturday, Kids.